The Juice & Muffin Quandary
by Red Bess Rackham
Summary: It's not just the orange juice with too much pulp or the over toasted English muffin - but Sheldon's not about to admit that. Oneshot. S3 Finale. Barest hint of Sheldon/Penny.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own The Big Bang Theory or Sheldon, though he is clearly the best part of the show. ;)

**A/n:** This is actually my first foray into TBBT fandom, so we'll see how it goes. I wrote this right after the S3 finale way back, and have been unsure and fiddling with it ever since. Figured I should stop messing with it and waffling and just post it already. Let me know what you think. Also wanted to mention that if you've ever even _remotely_ considered the possibility of S/P, you need to read anything by the amazingly talented DSieya, who inspired me to write Big Bang, and who writes the most perfect S/P ever. She turned me into a die-hard without me even knowing it. This just barely hints at S/P. Enjoy!

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**The Juice & Muffin Quandary**

It's not just the fact that the inexpensive toaster (or it's manufacturer), that was part of Leonard's contribution to the apartment, has the rather ridiculous notion to deem _that_ as "lightly toasted". It is most clearly several darker shades of brown than it should be and of a harder, or "crunchier", texture than he would normally consume. Borderline "burnt" in his opinion, but "of normal toast standards" according to Leonard (who won't stop smiling, which is grating in itself).

This over-toasted English muffin issue is part of it, of course, because who _actually_ toasts their muffin on such a setting? He ruminates that if they are going to go to the trouble of installing the dial and placing labels on said dial ("light" being one of them), then they certainly should have taken the proper amount of time to ensure those labels were accurate.

And it's not just the fact that the pulpy orange juice says "low pulp" when it most assuredly has a much higher pulp content than something entitled "low" should allow for. He feels more strongly about this issue than the muffin/toaster issue because at least with the burnt muffin, he can _see_ that it is not right _before_ he brings it to his mouth to consume, whereas with the juice, he doesn't realize there is a problem until it already is in his mouth and he's forced to swallow a mouthful with far too many particles and bits floating around.

There is a place for pulp in orange juice, he decides, but everything in moderation. A small amount ("low") is acceptable and even enjoyable, thus why he opted to purchase this particular kind as opposed to the "pulp free" or "extra pulp" versions also available. At this point he feels more like he's chewing his juice than drinking it, which is an altogether unsettling sensation (honestly, if he'd _wanted_ to chew the juice, he would've just eaten an orange and skipped the cup part of this exercise). He contemplates whether or not to get a strainer and work out a more acceptable pulp-to-juice ratio that would be worthy of the title of "low pulp" (Leonard is still grinning as he hands over the strainer without a usual comment or remark).

The juice issue _is_ part of it (his general bad mood, that strange twisting sensation his stomach), he of course must admit. Mostly, it's that his entire breakfast has been upset by careless toaster and orange juice manufacturers. And the fact that Leonard is now _humming_.

Only slightly earlier, Leonard had practically pranced into the kitchen with a figurative neon sign over his head declaring how much he'd enjoyed his not-so-quiet nighttime activities (a sign even his socially inept roommate couldn't help but notice) and was preceded by _her_ and her rumpled walk-of-shame moments before. There were thoughts that occurred in his mind at that moment which he promptly dismissed and buried, because he simply cannot understand why they were there, or why he feels a strange emotion blooming somewhere in his upper body once Leonard greeted him chirpily.

He whines dramatically, holding his breakfast, about how this is surely the worst day of his life (perhaps not literally, but it certainly is fast climbing the charts) and Leonard is too wrapped up in his own giddiness to notice.

The part Sheldon won't (can't?) admit aloud is that the declaration wasn't entirely about the over-toasted muffin and over-pulpy orange juice.

**-end-**

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**A/n:** Thanks for reading - reviews very much appreciated!


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